Sudah 5 tahun saya ga meng-update blog ini. Postingan terakhir bertanggal 7 Maret 2016, dan itupun bukan tulisan.
Ini pertama kalinya saya nyoba nulis lagi disini. It has been 5 years dan a lot of things had happened to me. Let me list several important things that happened in these *gap* years:
- I return to Bandung after I obtain my Ph.D.
- Then I get married. :D
- Then my first son is born. <3
- My parents went to the UK again for the very first time after these 20 years!
- My granny passed away, n we almost lose our auntie.
- My son caught TBC and needs to take medication for 6 months.
- My parents finally *naik hajji*. :)
- After all these years of living separately, finally all my family members are living in the same house again. (However I'll will be moving around next month with my husband n son. It's not really far, though, only ke kota sebelah wkwk).
- I had my first postdoc offer, and then my second one, and then a permanent position in Indo.
- Then the global pandemic hits the world.
Then I could conclude that I *stop* writing when my son is born. :D I also take a break from socmed after he contracted TBC. When the pandemic hits, it becomes harder to travel and move around, I began to miss friends and families far away so I *occasionally* check their news on socmed. Then I read a posting on ITBmotherhood, there is a subgroup: a community of ITBMH members who share a blogging habit.
I used to reaaaally like writing diaries in my past. It was like a review, or a contemplation, on what I have done in a day. It gives me a chance to talk to myself, to understand what I really feel, and to focus on what I really want. In simple words, writing diaries/blogs really made me feel like being myself.
*To be my(our)self*. Isn't this trivial thing a bit hard to achieve these days? As a parent, we put our children needs above anything else, we let go a lot of things (for me, one of the important things I let go are my hobbies). We need to suppress our ego, but of course, there is no regret in doing all these things. Not to mention how we act 'politely' to 'save face' around others, wkwkwk. As we grow older, we become more realistic, pragmatic, and *sorry to say*, dull. However, I think, there are things that all of us need to preserve in a healthy way: our individuality.
For me, writing a blog used to be a way to express my individuality, in a healthy way. As my (our) life is getting more stressful because of this pandemic, I hope, bringing back the old habit of blog-writing could at least provide a time and place for me to be myself.
I am thankful that I come to cross the MGN community so that I have an occasion to update my blog. :D Although I am not really comfortable with the ratings and prize things. It's an expression of ourselves, and there's no need to compare it with others.
And yes, it's more comfortable writing in English, because I usually speak/write in very non-formal Indonesian (with slanks.. wkwk), but to write serious things in bahasa gaul will be very cheesy, I think, while writing in formal Indonesian will also be very karagok for me. :D
But now I'm thinking to translate this post into Indonesian. :D
Maybe tomorrow, because now I'm sleepy. :D
Good nite, multiverse!
