another one.

watercolour day.

Jadi hari ini gw niatnya latian cat air. Uh bagus2 bgt lukisan orang2 di pinterest, jadi pngn bisa! Trus nyobain lah gw bikin stoberi, sekalian main cat air sama Io. Ini jg bikinnya curi2 sambil masak sop n masak nasi. Wkwkwk. Plus pake kuas yg ujungnya udah merangrang ky sikat gigi, kuas portable yg gw bli di shop** dibuang sama Teja krn dikira mainan io yg udah kering. Grauu. 

Kebetulan skalian ngetest cat air bekas punya si Tya, yg katanya bnyk memorable penting disitu wkwkwkw. Emg beda cat air bermerk mah warnanya konsisten n merata. 💗

Padahal minggu ini gw pny setumpuk deadline yg ga sempet gw kerjain sejak Io demam tinggi 5 hari kmrn hiks. Alhamdulillah Io udah sembuh, tinggal mental gw yg butuh rekoveri agak lama. Selalu gitu tiap abis Io sakit. Salah satu cara nge-heal yg lumayan bisa nge-soothing mental aing kynya sih ngegambar. Lumayan ngefek bwt gw. :)

chinese lantern.

 

LATSAR #1

 

presentasi.

Jadi begini. Gw sedang hoream sekali bikin slaid, padahal gw besok jam 8 presentasi progress. Yg harus gw presentasiin adalah paper gw yg ini nih. Yg itulah. Rada hoream. Plus besok gw ada 2 dedlain review paper hya ampun. Yg 1 mah tinggal baca skilas trus bilang OK. Yg 1 lg duh gusti 69 halaman. Dan ini paper dari beliau yang tidak menerima lamaran posdok gw. Wkwkwk. Yasudahlah. No hard feeling. :D

Intinya, yang mw kupresentasiin adalah semacam modified gravity. Hoream. Tunduh. Geus we lah copas dr draft.. Keknya pertama harus jelasin 2nd order formulation, trus f(R). Lalu first order form. Yup. Jelasin ngikutin draft. Terus sampe metric affine. Okay selesai sampai disini.

Lalu draft ku yg kmrn itu ttg 3+1 split dr metric-affine GR. Semoga lancar2 reviewnya. Selanjutnya. Kenapa gw tertarik ngebahas ini? Sbnrnya mah awalnya gw pngn nurunin GaussCod bwt general affinecon, trus dapet hasil yg baru. Kan mending dijadiin paper wkwk. Lalu gw carilah aplikasi gravity belakangan, n ketemu si metric affine ini. Okay.

Jadi apa yg kira2 bisa dikembangkan dr si metric affine? Pertama, dy modified gravity. Jadi, bisa jadi dy adalah salah satu kandidat teory yg bisa ngejelasin dark matter (walopun gw sebenernya ga peduli wkwkwkw). Kedua, affine connection (bukan LevCiv) dibutuhkan utk mencouple gravity dngn fermion (via torsion) papernya Hehl, dan ini sering bgt disebut org2 dilab dulu. Ketiga, sangat mungkin sekali kita pny matter dengan hypermomentum (pernah baca gw paper partikel2 gitu nyebut hypermomentum), ini yg belum terlalu clear bwt gw. Fisisnya hypermomentum tu ky apa sih? Baca lg sih men. Ya, nanti.

Setelah 2 draft ini beres, gw mw kemana si? Gw mah pngnnya: 1. nulis ulang perumusan via orthonormal frame, supaya lebih mirip gauge field gitu2. 2. hamiltonian analysis lah. Demi quantisasi kanonik apa sih yg ngga wkwkw. 3. Tambahin holst term, konstruk new variable ky ashtekar, dll. Tapii ini sulit klo gw gawe sendirian mah. Plus udah ada jg yg ngerjain ini grup italia, mereka 3-4 org, reviewnya aja 2 taun. Huff. Kumaha aing. :(

Lalu gw bisa apa? Kynya kolaborators gw yg baru ini, tertarik bgt sama blackhole, jadi mungkin bisa dicari solusi schwarszchild utk MAG? Udah ada yg bikin? Ya tuhaaan udah dooong bnyk bgt pulaaaaa. Udah nyampe solusi Kerr pula wkkwkkww. Gapapa lah masi bisa dicari celahnya. Pngn ngerti sih gw. ... Wow no hair theorem ga berlaku bwt MAG blackhole. Tuh kan klo blackhole mah banyaaaak aja yg ngerjain. Uda lah yg lain aja. Tar gw baca2 lg deh..

Okay itu aja dulu. Next yg mw gw tanyain besok:

kualitas cat air kurang bagus..

 

Setoran MGN #March: Alasan masuk ITB.

Oh dear. I just don't really get the theme. Is it 'alasan masuk ITB' or 'alasan memilih jurusan XX di ITB'?. They are two different things. ITB was the best academic institution at that time, so this solely was already a valid reason why we had chosen ITB for university.

It is more interesting to tell why we choose a specific major for university. So this is my story.. *Indonesian mode ON*. Wkwkwkw..

So.. Gw suka sains sejak gw kecil. Yes I'm on the nerd side, wkwkwkw. But I would say that this is a privilege. My parents are well-educated (they are also ITB graduates) and very literate in science, especially in chemistry. I do remember when my mother, while cooking, told me to "1. mengupas kentang sampai kulitnya habis", and to "2. menggoreng kentang sampai benar2 matang", because the growth hormone in potato, i.e., solanine, could cause 'keracunan kentang pada manusia'. :D So, yes, I and my siblings get this privilege.

Tapi, cuma gw yg ahirnya nerusin ke sains. Both my siblings choose architecture-like studies. But all of us like science. All of them, I mean, math, biologi, kimia, fisika. For me, I especially like fisika n biologi, because I doooo like scifi books and movies. Plus as a 90 kids, I do like guys with long hair wkwkwk so I do like Isaac Newton hahahaa, I read his complete bio, so I decide to study calculus.  What a freak. 😂 

That was when I'm on junior high. I remember I bought a book about differential equations from Gramed, I always carry the book wherever I went wkwkw (of course without understanding anything written in there 😂). With these, I'm determined to become a physicist at quite a young age hahahhhaa:

Then, I entered high school. On the first year, finally I studied calculus:

This is the Riemann integral. I studied from university books, to have a better understanding (No, don't worry, I was never a straight A student 😁, but I do enjoy studying 😊).

However, at the end of high school, I was torn between a lot of choices. My mom wanted me to become a doctor (which I refused because of my fear of incurable disease, I know my life will be gloomy if I become a doctor). I do like art so I enter the FSRD ITB test for DKV (I didn't get it, instead I was referred to my third choice, Seni Murni. I wanted to work at Disney or Pixar and was never ready to become a pure free-styled artist, so I let it go). Then the SPMB is getting closer, but instead of physics, I was asking my parents permission to choose archeology UI! 😂 My mom got furious like: "What are you thinking? Are you going to dig dinosaur's bones? There are no dinos in an island country like Indonesia, you will never have a good-living then!" (she was an asian-tiger mom ❤). My father just laughed wkwkwkw.

So in the end I choose Fisika ITB as my first choice, and Astronomi ITB as the second. As Fisika ITB is not a top-rated choice in Indonesia, the requirement is relatively low (it's very low to be honest, so that my friends keep telling me I don't have to study for the SPMB wkwkwkw). My parents of course give their blessing with my choice, heu. 

Then I enter Fisika ITB. I was never a straight A student, but like I said before, I enjoy studying. Here's the proof:

Even though I studied this hard:

Wkwkwkwk 😂

Well, here I am, finally become a physicist, focusing on the subject I really hope to understand since high school, i.e., quantum gravity, and although things had not usually happened as I expected, I would say, I don't regret choosing physics as a major in university. Sometimes I wonder if my high school, younger-self could meet the older, present-me (yes, with a time-machine I invented, wkwkwkw 😂), will she be proud of me for being consistent with my dream? Or will she be like: "Oh dear, you are only a second-rate physicist, you should have chosen to become an archeolog instead!" Wkwkwkw 😂 Whatever, as I said before, I do enjoy studying, and (I hope) will always be.

Finally, here is a bonus: 

Cybird is releasing otome with Isaac Newton as one of the ikemen! 😭 (my girly-side is screaming to play, no STOP, I have papers to write wkwkwkwk, mau tunjangan dipotong emang? Get a life, me! Wkwkwkwk. It's a pity he gets a haircut in the otome, wkwkwkwk.)

Thanks for reading, anyway. Wishing you a happy life. ❤

tes cat air baru!

 

*evariste galois*

Beresin komputer lalu ketemu sketsa jaman kuliakh. Wkwkwk. *Evariste Galois* versi serial cantik! 

*evariste galois*

Konon blio tewas tertusuk karena rebutan cewe. :D  Not your typical mathematician. :D Btw stelah diliat2 jadi mirip artiz K-pop wwkwkwk. :D

Setoran MGN #February (English Version).

Sudah 5 tahun saya ga meng-update blog ini. Postingan terakhir bertanggal 7 Maret 2016, dan itupun bukan tulisan.

Ini pertama kalinya saya nyoba nulis lagi disini. It has been 5 years dan a lot of things had happened to me. Let me list several important things that happened in these *gap* years:

• I return to Bandung after I obtain my Ph.D.
• Then I get married. :D
• Then my first son is born. <3
• My parents went to the UK again for the very first time after these 20 years!
• My granny passed away, n we almost lose our auntie.
• My son caught TBC and needs to take medication for 6 months.
• My parents finally *naik hajji*. :)
• After all these years of living separately, finally all my family members are living in the same house again. (However I'll will be moving around next month with my husband n son. It's not really far, though, only ke kota sebelah wkwk).
• I had my first postdoc offer, and then my second one, and then a permanent position in Indo.
• Then the global pandemic hits the world.

Then I could conclude that I *stop* writing when my son is born.  :D I also take a break from socmed after he contracted TBC. When the pandemic hits, it becomes harder to travel and move around, I began to miss friends and families far away so I *occasionally* check their news on socmed. Then I read a posting on ITBmotherhood, there is a subgroup: a community of ITBMH members who share a blogging habit.

I used to reaaaally like writing diaries in my past. It was like a review, or a contemplation, on what I have done in a day. It gives me a chance to talk to myself, to understand what I really feel, and to focus on what I really want. In simple words, writing diaries/blogs really made me feel like being myself. 

*To be my(our)self*. Isn't this trivial thing a bit hard to achieve these days? As a parent, we put our children needs above anything else,  we let go a lot of things (for me, one of the important things I let go are my hobbies). We need to suppress our ego, but of course, there is no regret in doing all these things. Not to mention how we act 'politely' to 'save face'  around others, wkwkwk. As we grow older, we become more realistic, pragmatic, and *sorry to say*, dull. However, I think, there are things that all of us need to preserve in a healthy way: our individuality.

For me, writing a blog used to be a way to express my individuality, in a healthy way. As my (our) life is getting more stressful because of this pandemic, I hope, bringing back the old habit of blog-writing could at least provide a time and place for me to be myself.

I am thankful that I come to cross the MGN community so that I have an occasion to update my blog. :D Although I am not really comfortable with the ratings and prize things. It's an expression of ourselves, and there's no need to compare it with others.

And yes, it's more comfortable writing in English, because I usually speak/write in very non-formal Indonesian (with slanks.. wkwk), but to write serious things in bahasa gaul will be very cheesy, I think, while writing in formal Indonesian will also be very karagok for me. :D

But now I'm thinking to translate this post into Indonesian. :D
Maybe tomorrow, because now I'm sleepy. :D
Good nite, multiverse!